Whether you’re in a love relationship, or single, I hope you survived this week’s Valentine’s Day with your heart still in one piece!
So very many of us actually were, or we felt, completely alone on some Valentine’s Day in the past (if not this one), and, OMG, that just really sucks, doesn’t it?!!! Often, even those of us who are in a relationship actually feel almost as alone (or more so) as we feel when we’re single and isolated. Whenever we are attacked by this utter loneliness, everyone around us seems to be in such a delicious fine and dandy (or dandy and fine) happy relationship, and all of them (really, every single one of them!) seem to be having a fantastic magical wonderful day spending time with their lover – and, of course, WE, you, me, are in such a moment, definitely NOT!!!! When we do feel this being without, this being excluded, this not feeling loved, we are so deeply lonely that our heart aches, we feel totally rejected, hugely hurt, we’re sure that we must in fact not be lovable at all, and we wonder if we will ever in our lives have love the way that we want it. Damn!! Someonabitch!!
I get it!! I feel for you!! I actually do know what you’re going through! I do know loneliness. In a huge way.
Ok. My recent blogs have been about the fact that you can’t have love without being vulnerable, that you can’t truly connect with people unless you allow yourself to be vulnerable, so I’m thinkin’ it’s time for me to be true to my perhaps-pompous prose by showing a bit of my own vulnerability.
Here goes. I had the beautiful and powerful nurturing experience of having a very loving, kind and expressive mother for the first six years of my life. It was Germany, the early 1950’s, only a few years after World War Two had ended. She didn’t work for a living, I was not in school yet, and we spent glorious other-worldly wonderful days alone together while the rest of the family was away at school or work. Those are the most beautiful memories of my life. She was completely my hero, and I wanted nothing more than to be as angelic and kind and loving as she was to me, and of course to always have her in my life, for forever and three days!
But, a couple months before my sixth birthday, I went on an exciting train ride. It had been billed as such by my family, especially by my older brother and sister – Walter’s exciting train ride. Strangely, my Mama wasn’t home that morning when the Red Cross lady picked me up, but my sixteen-year-old brother rode the bus with us to the train station. As the train rolled out of the station the white handkerchief he was waving appeared ever more tiny, and my excitement faded into a brief panic when my brother disappeared from sight. By the second hour of the train ride the fabulous sights and sounds were no longer exciting to me at all; I was tired and ready to go back home, which is how I thought the day was supposed to end. But, when we finally got off the train, the cheesy-smelling Red Cross lady kept assertively and painfully squeezing my hand to drag me into a very frightening unknown. My heart was racing wildly and I was shivering, even though it was a hot summer day.
After a long physically and emotionally exhausting walk through the countryside, we came upon a lot of kids playing and running around two long grey buildings that sat on a grassy hillside. We walked up the stairs of the first building into a plant-filled office where a lady named Head Mistress told me that my Mama was very sick, and that I would never be going home again. She said that from now on I would be living in this place called orphanage. I had never heard that word before. What she was saying made no sense at all to me, and it didn’t even seem like it could be possible!! I was in disbelief, and I had no way to even process such a concept in my mind – never going home again? Impossible. I remember screaming, “My Mama’s waiting for me at home! I have to go home right now! Mama will be mad if I don’t come home!!” But my protests quickly got lost in a glaring reality that itself was screaming back at me from excruciating agony in my heart, screaming from stinging stabs on my upper arms where Head Mistress was digging her fingernails into my skin to restrain me; a reality which was quickly draining every ounce of strength that I had. I felt total abandonment. Utter despair. Insanely agonizing loneliness.
A few weeks later they allowed my father to visit me for an afternoon. About an hour into our time together he told me that my Mama died six days after my train ride. I had no idea how to process that either. That also did not seem possible. It was incomprehensible, made absolutely no sense to me that she could be dead. He said she had tried not to show it around me, but she had been really sick. When he was leaving he revved up his motorcycle, plopped his butt down on the seat a couple of times as he straddled it, and said he’d be back to take me home. He never came back.
So, yup, I know what it’s like to be lonely, and I completely empathize and sympathize with the loneliness that you experience!! I send you my love, I send you hugs, and I send you nurturing uplifting power!!
I’m also going to share with you four things that help me overcome my own loneliness, things that make me know I am loved, things that make me feel safe. I hope that at least some of this will resonate with your heart and bring you peace and love!
1. Look at the horizon of the earth, or at the edge of distant hills. Allow your eyes to go out of focus. Then be aware that the entire earth is beneath your feet, and as you see the sky at the horizon, be aware and see that you and the earth are floating through the universe, that you and the earth are part of the universe, one with the universe. Feel the power of the Being that is the Earth, this Earth which tribal societies always see as a living intelligent nurturing loving Being. Feel the powerful deep vibration of the Earth’s Energy, how it speaks to you in heart-moving low tones which are passionate love itself. This is a friend that you always have if you open your heart to her. With the Earth as your friend, you are never alone.
2. Start a love relationship, a best friends relationship with 5-year old YOU!! This part of you who is precious, innocent, still in tune with the Spirit world and in tune with the life before this one, who is therefore wise and psychic, who is fun-loving and sweet, and who truly wants nothing more in life than just to be loved!!
I love to imagine 5-year-old Walter is sitting on my lap with his back to me. My arms are around his torso, my cheek is resting on the sweet-smelling plush blond hair on top of his head. I feel the warmth and vibrations of his love coming from his head, from the soft skin on his arms and hands as they rest on mine, from his warm back as he leans against my chest. I feel the euphoric connection of that love. I tell him, “I love you, Walter”. I repeat it often. I tell him, “I’m with you, Walter”. I say, “I’ll always be with you, Walter”. I tell him, “You’ll never be alone again, Walter”. And I repeat multiple times again, “I love you, Walter”.
When I go for a walk, I love to imagine that Little Walter (L.W., or El Dub the very tough little Hombre) is holding my hand, and we’re loving one another, both in awe of how awesome it is to be alive, to be experiencing, to be constantly finding fulfillment and fun and excitement in the challenges that we’ve overcome so far and the ones we will conquer in the future.
Einstein said over 100 years ago that there is actually no time, and that’s been proven repeatedly ever since. So, it really is possible to go beyond your perceived limits of time and to have a vivid relationship with 5-year-old YOU! If you allow yourself that relationship, you will always have a friend.
I’d love to take you through a very powerful NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) technique that will allow you to truly fall in love with 5-year-old you. I will show you how to give 5-year-old you that love, and also show you how to receive that adoration and love for adult you, from your 5-year-old self. Schedule a psychic reading appointment with me, or an NLP session, if you’re interested in this very heart-moving and beautiful experience.
3. Frequently, look at yourself in the eyes in the mirror, and say “I love you” and then say your name. If you’re able to do that, then you’re way ahead already, and you should have fun doing it often! But, many of us (most of us?) find that very hard to do, even impossible, uncomfortable, perhaps stupid. I get it. Most of my life I could not even imagine doing such a crazy stupid thing – to me it seemed just plain silly at best! When I was in psychotherapy 20 years ago, my psychologist insisted very passionately in every session that I absolutely had to learn how to do that and to do it often!! Whenever I did try to look myself in the eyes in the mirror, I saw somebody that I not only did not love, but I didn’t even like him! I saw somebody who was clearly messed up big-time, somebody who needed one hell of a lot of help, who actually looked physically ugly to me, somebody who didn’t seem lovable at all!
But, here’s what finally worked for me – when you look at yourself in the eyes in the mirror, see the eyes of 5-year-old YOU, who is precious, innocent, sweet, still in tune with the Spirit world and the life before this one, who is therefore wise and psychic, who is fun-loving and delightful, and who really wants nothing more in life than just to be loved!! If you see those eyes, you will automatically love YOU!! You actually are still that sweet precious innocent beautiful 5-year-old you, and when you see in those eyes that massive desire of wanting just to be accepted and loved, you will automatically love YOU. Then, when you look 5-year-old you in the eyes in the mirror and say “I love you” and then say your name, you will really mean it, you will feel the love, and you will feel empowered, and you will have a friend.
4. Get in tune with one of your Angel Guides! If you already have an awareness of an Angel Guide being there for you, but you’re not sure if you’re getting information from them, then ask questions! Because the principal of absolute free will is universal, angels are not actually allowed to interfere in our lives. But, they love to help, they want to help, they are there to help, and they want you to ask and need you to ask for help!! And when you do ask, you’ve given them permission to do their magic for you!
If you want to make it more real, more believable, more effective for yourself, then make it personal!! Ask your Angel Guide to tell you their name!! Listen for the very first name that comes to you, no matter how illogical it may seem – the first information is always the true psychic information – everything that comes after that we have changed through our sense of logic, or fears, or desires. The moment you hear or feel a name being told to you, then you will likely feel a euphoric connection to your Angel Guide. That feeling, that connection, will never go away unless you suppress it. If you open your heart to it, you can have a personal relationship with him or her, hug him or her, get hugged, get kissed, feel loved, be loved. And, you will also get some really fantastic advice! If you open your heart to a personal relationship with your Angel Guide(s), you will never need to feel alone, and you will always have a friend.
I wish for you that you always feel loved, feel respected, feel included, feel admired, and feel adored.